Backward Thinking

Usually when I hear “backward thinking,” I think of old-school, outdated schools of thought. And maybe living so far out in the countryside, people do think backward…or don’t think at all. They never considered the fact that it doesn’t snow during winter in every part of the world. They never considered the fact that Japanese food is served in other parts of the world. Weird little things I am discovering being here.

And as winter is here for another month or so, I am reminded of some thoughts I had before I arrived in July. One of my first blog posts was about “Last Samurai.” I still think in many ways that this tiny isolated village is like the one in the movie. The winter roads do close. It’s too cold to go outside and you are most definitely stuck in your house when there’s a blizzard and you can’t open your front door. But people here still use bamboo brooms. They still have wood burning heaters and stoves in their homes. It’s a strange thing to have a 60” flat screen and a PS3 but still having to chop wood to keep warm.

As I’ve been fighting this emo season, I’ve been asking God to reveal Himself to me. When I get emo, it’s easy to stop looking for God. It’s easy to just focus on me and my immediate surroundings and circumstances and how much life just…isn’t what I thought it should be. It’s when I don’t die to myself before I get out of bed. Being emo is basically being selfish.

So as I walked to work yesterday in the miserably cold windy morning, I asked God to speak. My walk to work is only 7 minutes, so I didn’t give Him much time, but He answered. The wind died down to a gentle breeze and the clouds broke into blue skies. And then snow gently fell. Remember My grace. And I looked around and saw the hill and the trees and the sidewalk and the street completely covered in snow. Nothing was going to escape the snow; it covered everything. In that moment, I remembered that His love covered ALL my sins. That His blood makes me white as snow.

But then He spoke again. Can you praise me even now? I looked around at the white hill, white trees, white sidewalk, white street, and I thought how boring it all looked. Everything looked the same. ecause that's why I've been frustrated and down and emo because I want spring to come and I'm tired of looking at snow and being cold. Can you praise me even now? I longed for spring to come and flowers to bloom and the hills to be green again. BI will bless you and I will continue to bless you. Even when you think my blessing will stop like you hope these snow storms will, I will still bless you. My love has covered you like the snow on the hills. Nothing can hide from the snow. Nothing is outside my reach. My love has cleansed every part of your life. Can you praise me now?

I started wearing shorts underneath my track suit. I keep hoping that one day I’ll walk outside and it’ll be warm enough to be in shorts. But the first time I wore shorts, a blizzard greeted me at my front door. Talk about crushing. I keep asking people when will spring come, when will it stop snowing, when can I play outside, when can I wear shorts. Soon enough. It’ll come soon enough, they tell me. I want winter to end now, but it’s a season. Every season has an end. And this one will too.