Glee and Grace

Last night, I watched Glee. The episode was titled, "Blame it on the Alcohol."

Tonight, in contrast, I watched a sermon from Crossroads Community Church titled, "The God Who Heals: Jehovah Rapha." Pastor Chuck Booher didn't give the message (they had a guest speaker), but at the end of the service Pastor Chuck said, "I've been hurt bad, but He heals great."

Last night, I was...broken. Because while Glee was singing and dancing about alcohol, I've seen what it can really do. When the episode finished, I sat there not really knowing what to think. My life is so much different. My life has meaning and purpose. I almost felt bad for the characters. Because I remember what it's like to be there.

But then I heard Him whisper. He reminded me last night of something my best friend tells me all the time--I am a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

My God is bigger than alcohol.

My God is bigger than depression.

My God is bigger than mistakes.

My God is bigger than loneliness.

My God is bigger than anger.

My God is bigger than abuse.

My God is bigger than addiction.

My God is bigger than hopelessness.

My God is bigger than sin.

My God is bigger than death.

My God is bigger than all of those things.

My God is so big that He overwhelms my life.

But at the same time, He's small enough to know my name. He's small enough to hold my hand when I walk to work. He's small enough to delight my heart with breathtaking sunsets. He's small enough to run His nail-scarred hands through my hair and catch every tear that runs down my cheek. He's small enough to know my hurt, my pain, my laugh, my smile.

And His grace, His grace covers me. It doesn't just cover the not-so-bad stuff. It covers me completely--the good, the bad, the ugly. I'm thankful that God's grace isn't partial. I am washed completely clean by the redeeming blood of Christ Jesus; I am made new from the inside out because He died to give me life. I am restored. I am redeemed. I am loved and forgiven by the God of the universe, the Maker of Heavens, the Shaper of the Stars, the Lover of my heart.

Heart ache

While it was an awesome weekend of boarding, I was extremely homesick. While I was with friends, I felt alone. Sunday morning I was up at 6:30 and texting my best friend back home. When we lived together in college, I would lie in bed and text her even though we were in the same apartment. She would eventually come to my room and we would talk until I was able to fall asleep. The hallway is now an ocean. While I'm waking up, she's going to sleep. It made me realize that, yeah, I am in a different place. I think for a long time, I've been in denial. I've tried to convince myself that everything would stay the same, that nothing would change. But I'm slowly realizing that it is, that things are.

Last night I couldn't sleep. It was way after midnight and I knew I had a long day of work ahead. But everything hurt. I fell on my knees next to my bed and cried. I cried long and hard because I wanted something other than Jesus. My heart broke into a thousand pieces. I worshiped Him on my knees in the middle of nowhere Japan in the middle of the night because He is God and He loves me.

And tonight, He walked me home and showed me just how much He cared.

Perfect

This past weekend I headed out to Tomamu with about 8 other JETs from around Hokkaido for some good ol' skiing and snowboarding. We left Kushiro at 6am and arrived at Tomamu around 9:30. We boarded almost all day...like 10-7, with a 45-minute lunch break. For not snowboarding for 7 years, it came back pretty easily. I was quite surprised.

We had PERFECT weather. Granted, it was snowing all day Saturday, but it made awesome powder. I fell in love with night boarding, despite the frigid temperatures. We even found an igloo and an ice bar. I'll post pictures of those later.

Sunday morning, I woke up early, went down to have breakfast, and was greeted with this spectacular view.

We hit the slopes from 10-2 and then jumped on the bus to come back to Kushiro and a lovely hour drive home through a blizzard. Needless to say, I'm still exhausted and recovering, but it was an awesome weekend of boarding.

Watching Snow - Otaru Snow Candles

Saturday we had a leisurely morning which included a trip to the onsen. Since there were 5 of us staying at the Huttons' apartment, we couldn't all shower. Or we could, it would just take a lot of time. So we went to the onsen and got cleaned up and relaxed and hung out. We definitely needed it after walking all day Friday.

Friday afternoon, we jumped on the train and headed out to Otaru for the snow/ice candle festivals. My boss is from Otaru and he told me I needed to go. I was expecting to go to the canal and check the ice candles floating down the canal. But I was in for so much more!

It was really hard to take a picture with no flash and not have it be blurry...especially while wearing gloves.

This is an ice candle...and there's maple leaves stuck in it. And there's a real candle inside lighting it up.

The best part was finding an igloo (even though it was tiny and we could hardly get in).

And then finally we got to the canal...and it was a zoo. Just enough energy left to push through the crowds to snap a picture before heading to Bikkuri Donkey for some parfaits!

It was a wonderfully fantastic way to spend my birthday weekend. I felt blessed beyond measure on my birthday weekend--Great food, lovely sights, and awesome friends!

Watching Snow - Susukino Ice Sculptures

Off to Suskino!

Suskino is only...2 subway stops away? from Odori Park. We decided to walk and save our money. What a treat it was! I'll only put up a few of the cool pictures and the rest you can check on Facebook!

Those are real fish...and crabs...and shellfish. They're frozen.

Instantly thought of my brother.

These are the boys (John and Matt) being boys...
The sea horse
The peacock...reminded me of PV.

If you can't tell what is going on, there's a guy on the left with a spear. There's an eagle on the right. And there's a fish on the bottom in the middle. The sign says "Fishing Fall Salmon."

By far, the coolest ice sculpture of the exhibit!

We stopped by Odori Park on our way back to see how things looked lit up at night.

Too bad they were teaching small children how to use giant slot machines on the display. You think I'm joking. The kids were in elementary school and were spinning the slot machine for a Nintendo DS.

This is the temple in the middle of the sculpture. You can see the depth and details a little bit better.

Here's the owl on the left side of the sculpture.

And then we went to celebrate my birthday with some awesome Mexican food! I even got a basket of free chips!

Watching Snow - Sapporo Yuki Matsuri

Last weekend I went to watch ice with my friends. This weekend I went to watch snow. Well, I should say, we looked at snow. We didn't really watch it. We just looked.

Thursday night after work I headed down to Shiranuka to meet up with the guys for our long and epic journey to the city. We arrived in Sapporo around noon on Friday. I peaced out from the guys and I caught the subway up to the Huttons' apartment, my lovely accommodations for the weekend. From there, we headed out with the Benscotters to go find us some snow!

This is the Sapporo Tower...a small version of the Tokyo Tower...which is a smaller version of the Eiffel Tower. It was a beautiful day in Sapporo! Off to find us some snow sculptures in Odori Park!

Our first discovery...DINOSAUR ICE SCULPTURES! They also had individual dinosaur ice sculptures leading up to it, but my pictures didn't turn out that great. If you're interested, you can check them on Facebook.

This was the first BIG snow sculpture. It represents China. I thought it was odd because Japan and China don't necessarily have good relations right now. The sun made taking pictures difficult. There's an owl on the left underneath a giant tower. The middle is a palace. The right are 3 wolves and the Great Wall scaling the side.

The LION KING snow display. To put things in perspective, the man with the black beanie (right under the O of LION) is almost at the front of the display. It's BIG. They were playing "Circle of Life" at this display. LION KING is coming to Sapporo in March, and this was part of their promotion. I was really hoping to see an elephant and some gazelles run across the stage.

Another display dedicated to...China? Yeah, that tiny lady is standing on part of the sculpture. Again, it's massive.

These are my friends :) From left to right: Jessica, me, Natalie, Melanie, and Teresa.

Not sure what this was supposed to be of. Maybe a temple? Old school royal residence? Not sure. But it was big. And there was a giant orange on stage. I really wanted to take a picture, but the line was really long and they were all small children.

This is the main display. It's Sazae-san. It's a popular cartoon show on TV here. I want to say this was about 25-30 feet high? It's pretty spectacular to see.

We headed towards the International Competition area. This stencil one is by the Finland ice sculpting team.
This lion dance piece is by the Hong Kong ice sculpting team. I think it was my favorite.

I found Darth Vader! It snowed the night before, so most of the smaller pieces (like this one) were covered in snow. It would've been nice if they were dusted off, but you can still clearly see it's Vader.

Off to Suskino to the ice sculptures!

Wrestling

The thought I've been wrestling with this past week or so has been: if God doesn't answer any of my prayers, would I still pray, praise, and worship Him?

Because God is God--He isn't obligated to answer my prayers.

He told me He hears me, He listens my cries, He hears my prayers.

But if God was quiet, would I still trust Him? Is my faith merely in a God who is a genie in a bottle?

Or is my faith in a God who controls the universe, time, and space, who choses to call me His own, who is good and just beyond my understanding, who is sovereign over all creation, who can't love me anymore than He does right now?

It's the small things in life

As the title says, it's the small things in life that, well, put a smile on our face. At least mine anyways.

It has been a long week. I've been waking up in the middle of the night because it's been cold. Not exactly sure what's changed, but it's been difficult feeling energetic in the mornings. Monday started off with my farthest drive to school and a snowstorm on my way back to the office. Tuesday was a long day--with a long drive between schools and ice hockey after work. And today, well, today was just long.

Monday night I came home and I sat and ate dinner and rested. No computer, no TV (not that I've watched TV since October), no cell phone (not that anyone calls me). I sat and I felt like drawing. So I did. I pulled out my markers and colored pencils and a stack of paper and I drew for 3 hours. It was the most relaxing thing I've done in a while. In the midst of another long week of teaching, it was nice to do something for myself. To take the time to remember the things I enjoy doing. And do them without any distractions. I had the time to sit and dig into the Word. Something I enjoy doing but haven't given myself the time to do.

Tuesday was long. We were supposed to play hockey for PE during 5th and 6th period, but ended up just scraping the snow off the rink instead. I drove to my meeting after shoveling and scraping snow for an hour. He's probably the teacher I like working with the most; he's also the youngest and has the best English. We play ice hockey after work. This week we were on opposing teams, but it was still fun to have a friend who I could yell at in English. I was on a new team (again) this week, but they ended up being really nice guys. They even invited me to come eat yakiniku (Japanese bbq) next time with them. When I left, they said, "See you next week." I'll take that as a good sign.

Today, I really wanted to wake up with the flu. I hate being sick, but I'm exhausted. I went to school and had a snowball fight with the preschoolers that wandered over. Needless to say, I owned those 4 and 5 year olds. After teaching the second grade class (of one small girl), she asked me if I liked "Guree," to which I shrugged and told her I didn't know. She pulled out the Glee Season 1 Soundtrack CD. She told me she brought it to play during lunch time. We listened to "Don't Stop Believing" on repeat all through lunch. She and I were the only ones singing. I stopped at the stationary store after work to buy a few things, and the store clerk asked how I was doing with the winter cold (she thought I stayed home because she hadn't seen me since before Christmas). I told her it was cold, but I was doing okay. She asked if I liked oranges, ran into the back of the store, yelled at me to wait a second, and came back with an orange. She told me I should eat it so I don't get sick from being with the kids and out in the cold.

Sometimes when life becomes hectic and the sky is gray, it's easy to forget that a smile can light up the room. Taking the time to laugh can do a lot for a tired soul. While this week has been long and exhausting, God still provided small glimpses, small treasures for me to enjoy.

Watching Ice

I know the title doesn't sound very thrilling. And it was my precise thoughts when my Bible study mentioned it on Wednesday night.

We're coming to Abashiri on Saturday to watch ice. You should come meet up with us!

What else would I do on a Saturday than watch ice? So I made the over 100km trek north to Abashiri, a town famous for its prison and ice.

This is no ordinary ice. It's drift ice. It comes down from...Russia? and floats around in the ocean.

And then we get on these big boats and drive through the drift ice.

Had the ice been any thicker, I'm sure we would've been like the Titanic.

I don't know who thought driving a boat through floating chunks of ice in the middle of the ocean during winter was a good idea, but it was really cool to watch. Unfortunately the pictures don't do our adventure any justice.

I honestly thought I was going to be looking at ice cubes in a cup of water...just on a much larger scale. But this was a true gem. I'm so grateful I had the chance to meet up with my friends and spend a day enjoying their company and discovering a little bit more about my island.

Nagabutsu Aisu Hokei

Yeah, you read it right: nagabutsu aisu hokei.

Also known as long rubber boots ice hockey.

So every Tuesday night, I play in a nagabutsu aisu hokei league after work. And by every Tuesday, I mean this week and last week. It's a team of 8--7 players and a goalie. It's kind of like broomball, except we use real hockey sticks and a hard plastic ball. Oh, and we get to wear elbow pads, knee pads, and helmets. And we play outside when it's (below) freezing...-16C to give a rough estimate.

1 fleece neck warmer, 2 long sleeve thermal shirts, 1 fleece vest, 1 fleece jacket, 1 track jacket

+1 pair of long johns, 1 pair of fleece lined sweats, 1 pair of snowboard pants

+2 pairs of long thermal socks

absolutely frozen

Games are only 10 minutes...two 5 minute halves. We played 4 games (3 real, 1 scrimmage) in 2 hours. Needless to say, I couldn't feel my toes the moment I got out of my car, let alone standing on ice in rubber boots. Not much insulation in those things. I think that's the coldest I've ever been...in my life.

Growing up in LA, I don't understand winter sports. To me, winter sports are basketball, soccer, and water polo. I don't really understand why people like being cold.

But the exercise is good and it is nice to hangout with coworkers and other people in the community outside the confines of work. We actually played the town Elementary school's teachers' team. They didn't recognize me until they heard me speaking English to another Japanese teacher of English who I work with at a junior high and also happened to be on my team. I did feel bad running into the teachers and knocking them over, but, in my defense, I was running in rubber boots on ice. It's good exercise and a good excuse to not stay inside all night. However, I'd pick basketball over nagabutsu aisu hokei as a winter sport any day.