Dear Shibecha

Dear Shibecha,

Two years ago today I showed up on a train in this tiny village in the middle of nowhere.  I didn't even know how to drive my car...or know what time work started.  I didn't have any friends and I could hardly communicate with anyone.

And today, I finished my time in Shibecha.  I played softball with the amazing teaching staff of this village.  We traveled and ate and played and laughed together.  While it would've been amazing if we won the All-Hokkaido tournament, I wouldn't have wanted to end my time here any other way.

I came home exhausted, but I needed to walk.  It's one of the last times I'll be able to take a late night walk down to the river.  I sat there with the river in front of me and the stars above me...and I cried.  A lot.  This has become my home.  And I don't want to leave.  I made a life here.  I have friendships that are deep despite the language barrier.  And I'm thankful that I do.  I'm thankful that I am so torn about going back to LA.  I am thankful for friends I don't want to leave.

Thursday night at a going-away party, my friends went around thanking me for teaching them English. I glanced across the table and saw my best friend crying.  I told her she couldn't cry, that I was spending the whole weekend with her.  But after that, I had a hard time holding back tears thanking them for so many wonderful memories over the past 2 years.  Though I did spend yesterday and today with my best friend, there were many moments of silence, neither of us knowing what to say, not wanting time to keep moving.  While she drove, I heard her keep saying, "Six days..." And it's only six days we have left together.

Thank you, tiny village, for changing seasons, for letting me experience my first snowfall.  Thank you for silly winter sports like nagabutsu aisu hokei and speed skating and snow rugby.  Thank you for showing me how shoveling snow is excellent exercise in cold weather.  Thank you for being green, greener than any place I've ever seen.  Thank you for your tall trees that sound like the ocean when a strong wind blows through.  Thank you for your rivers and streams and many lakes.  Thank you for your winding roads through farms and mountains.  Thank you for your clear nights when all the stars in the universe can be seen from my front door.  Thank you for your sunsets that are unlike anything I've ever seen.  Thank you for your tiny schools and extremely flexible teachers.  Thank you for your never-ending schedule of events to attend--from listening to the Sapporo orchestra to running a long-distance relay to watching a school play.  Thank you for these past 2 years of valuable experiences and unforgettable memories.

While I know I have to leave in six days, I know this isn't goodbye--just see you later.

Much love,
Me

Last

List of lasts:

• Eating dinner with my nagabutsu aisu hokei team
• Practicing softball while the sun sets
• Teaching 3 English classes and 3 PE classes in one day
• Coaching basketball early Saturday morning
• Having a oyster explode on the grill
• Laughing with my coworkers over BBQ
• Driving by my favorite lake and lookout point
• Walking to work 
• Getting a ride halfway to work
• Stamping the office car book with my seal
• Driving the no-fun car
• Writing speeches and working past bedtime

There's a last time for everything...and today is my LAST DAY AS AN (official) EMPLOYEE OF SHIBECHA TOWN'S BOARD OF EDUCATION!

Where have 2 years gone?

I'm not counting down the days until I leave this village.  I'm not.  Really.  I know I count down every time I am getting ready to come home, but this time I'm not ready to come home.

I am trying to hang on to every last minute, every last walk to work, every last walk home with my students, every last English class, every last laugh with my friends, every last dinner party.  Today I'll go to my big junior high, the first school I taught at, the school where I coach basketball.  It's fitting that my last day will end with my first school.  And I'll give a speech today up on a stage in a suit thanking the students for always greeting me with "Good morning" (no matter what time it is) and telling me they're hungry.  And I hope not to cry too much in the process.

I lay in bed this morning and thanked God for these 2 years.  2 blessed years.  I never would've imagined.  This is not where I thought I'd be 2 years out of college, and there's no place I'd rather be.  God's ways are higher than mine, and I'm so glad they are.

Cleaning & Packing

I am getting things ready to go.  It's a hectic process to pack up life while working and living in the house you still need to pack.  It's a busy last few weeks, and I have hardly any time to get my things together.  This past weekend was the first real break I had in 26 days.  And it was an amazing 3-day weekend before my last 2 weeks here.

7/17 - Nakachanbetsu Elementary & Junior High.  Basketball practice.  Softball practice.  Dinner with a teacher friend.
7/18 - Nakaosobetsu Elementary.  Basketball practice.
7/19 - Preschool.  Last English conversation class.
7/20 - Office day.  Board of Education goodbye party.
7/21 - Nakachanbetsu goodbye party.
7/22 - Cleaning day.
7/23 - Office day.  Basketball practice.
7/24 - Touro Elementary & Junior High.  Softball practice.
7/25 - Office day.  Basketball practice.
7/26 - PACK & CLEAN & SHIP MY STUFF. English conversation class goodbye party.
7/27-29 - All-Prefecture softball tournament.
7/30 - Clean house.
7/31-8/1 - Go pick up my replacement & bring him back to Shibecha


So I have about 2 days to pack and clean.  I've been slowly making progress packing away souvenirs I've collected, books I've finished reading, and DVDs I never got a chance to watch.  I've also start throwing away stuff in an attempt to clean.  Old newspapers from home, an ESPN magazine, old calendars, and socks with holes in them.

There are things, intangibles, I have to decide to take home with me or throw them away.  I decided to keep a few things--friendships, appreciation for nature, wifey skills, sense of responsibility, thankfulness.  I know I need to throw some things away, some things I can't and shouldn't take back with me to LA--regret, bitterness, fear of what's next.

Last night was my Sabbath, and while it was a holiday, I came home after a day in town shopping and lay on the floor.  I lay on the floor and, instead of packing and cleaning, I lay there quietly.  As if somehow when I opened my eyes, my bags would be packed and my house would be spotless.

Have 2 years really gone by that quickly? 

I remember crying every night for the 2 weeks prior to my departure from LA.  So afraid of the unknown, the wild adventures ahead.  I arrived in the most peaceful and beautiful place I have ever seen filled with the kindest people I have ever met.  Every day has been an adventure--from teaching preschool to coaching basketball to fishing in the river to shoveling the office driveway to my car breaking down.  Every day God has gone before me.  Every day God has walked me home.

And in 18 days, I'll leave this beautiful little dairy farming village I've fallen in love with and called home.  In 25 days, I'll be back in LA surrounded by family and English-speaking friends.  I'll walk by faith with my belongings and life lessons through customs at LAX.  I have to trust God will go before me on the adventure that lies ahead.  I have to trust God will walk me home.

Let Freedom Reign

When asked what nationality I am, I proudly say I'm Japanese American.  If you know me fairly well, you know I more closely identify with being Japanese more than I do being American.  I tend to eat Japanese food more often than American food, and I celebrate Japanese holidays with my family.  One of my friends commented on a picture of a room in my house being decorated with Japanese paraphernalia.  I dreamed of working in Japan, and here I am.

Makeshift indoor BBQ

But now that I'm here, in Japan, I would tell you I'm American.  I'm not Japanese American in Japan.  I'm just American.  Since today is Independence Day, America's birthday, I proudly blasted "Proud to be an American" through every open window in my house.  I turned my fish griller into a makeshift BBQ and grilled up some sausage and corn on the cob and bell peppers.

It's difficult to explain the significance of Independence Day in a country that's never been dependent.  I've never really thought about America's independence too much until today.  I'm grateful to be a citizen of the United States of America where freedom reigns.  While the US of A may not be the perfect country, I am thankful for the education I've received and the services that are available.  Things may be very different than they were in 1776, but the red, white, and blue flag still waves over the amazingly diverse but united states of America.

This morning in my thankful journal I jotted down "freedom."  I am thankful today for my freedom of speech and religion.  I am thankful for my freedom to vote.  I am thankful for the freedom to get an education and find a job.  I am thankful for the men and women who have served in the armed forces to protect America and the freedom it stands for.  I am thankful for my rights as a citizen of the United States of America.

I'm also thankful for my freedom in Christ Jesus through His blood shed on the cross for my sins.  I'm thankful for the freedom from my sin to turn to God the Father and to serve Him with my life.  I'm thankful for Christ's free will, and that in His freedom He willingly came to earth, lived a sinless life, died a sinner's death, and rose from the grave 3 days later for the glory of God.  I am thankful to be free.

"But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 6:22-23