Aunties

It's the last day of November, 4 days before my big test, and I'm sick. I have a head cold, I think. All I know is I don't feel up to par and it's making learning grammar and vocabulary and kanji almost impossible at this point. Last night I thought I'd study until 8 and then hit the hay by 9. Instead I fell asleep eating oatmeal with my textbook open around 7. So I cleaned up and got in bed at 7:45...and grudgingly rolled out of bed at 6:30 this morning. It's not a good time to be sick.

You're probably reading this wondering why the title of this post is "Aunties," because so far everything has been about me being sick.

I got to school this morning and checked my phone...an email from one of my aunties. I smiled-- she read my blog, sent me an email, and reminded me I'll be home in less than 3 weeks for lots of hugs.

My aunties are special, and I'm blessed to have lots of them. My aunties bless me beyond imagination--they're like second moms. And since my mom doesn't use Facebook, they "like" my pictures and statuses. They take pictures and share them, so I know what's going on back home. These are the women who get my random questions about life (What do I do with cooked corn? How do I cook broccoli?) when Mom doesn't hear her cell phone. When my mom isn't on Skype at the right time, they'll call her for me. Now that I'm sick, I'm wishing one of them would show up at my house with hot homemade chicken noodle soup (it happened when I was in high school once--true story). But I'll do what I know Mom and the rest of them would all tell me to do--drink lots of tea, go to bed early, and pray.

To my Aunties-- You are blessings and I'm thankful for you and I can't wait to see you all in a few weeks!

Thanksgiving

Yes, it's Thursday, but Thanksgiving was yesterday for us. It was Labor Thanksgiving Day, so we got the day off and aptly used it to eat some turkey and get together.

We had a baby turkey from France, gravy, some KFC, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin brownies, and pumpkin pie. For all being 20-somethings with not much cooking experience, we did pretty well. We had plenty of leftovers for everyone to take home.

I took some leftover pumpkin pie to my boss's house after they all left. He and his family were thoroughly confused as to how I could bake a whole pie and not be able to cook myself dinner. Still a mystery to be solved.

I'm thankful for friends to celebrate Thanksgiving with this year. I'm thankful to know I'm going to LA in less than 3 weeks. I'm thankful for a boss who graciously opens his door any night of the week. I'm thankful for friends back home who still remember I'm here. I'm thankful for my family who sent me Thanksgiving decorations and canned cranberry jelly.

But most of all, I'm thankful for having a reason to be thankful. I'm thankful for a God whose love knows no bounds. I'm thankful that He chose to love me enough to send His only Son Jesus Christ to die for my sins so I could stand before Him as righteous.

White as snow

Yesterday marked the start of the snow season. It's much later than last year, but I'm fine with that. I must have gotten used to the cold weather here. I said I'd wear shorts under my track suit pants until it started snowing--which meant I wore shorts when it was -8C. I survived. My hands were colder than my shins. But now that it's snowing, I've converted to the double-layered long pants. It hasn't been too cold yet--we're still in single-digit negative temperatures on my walk to and from work.

The first snow came in a blizzard. The wind blowing the snow every which direction. The road lost its lines since the snow plows weren't prepared. I sat in the school office and it looked like I was in a snow globe. Snow blew everywhere. It was magical until I had to walk home. But the wind stopped and the snow gently fell as I walked in the dark. I thought of the old church song, "White as Snow."

My snow jacket is black. I've yet to be snowed on so long that it becomes white. I've never stayed outside long enough in a snow storm to let that happen. If I stayed outside in the snow storm long enough, I would become white as snow. I would have to be covered from head to toe. I would probably have to stay very still and wait because if I moved the snow would probably fall off.

I live in a world of microwave dinners and convenience stores and instant messaging. I do everything when I want and nothing takes me very long to do. But what happens to Psalm 46:10? What happens to being still? If I sat still long enough and gazed at Jesus, would I let the grace of God wash me white as snow? If I sat still long enough and gazed at Jesus, would the grace of God penetrate into every crevice of my being?

I don't have the patience to become white as snow. I don't have the patience to sit and soak in the grace of God. It's too easy to shake it off and walk around in my black jacket, my old habits and forget God's grace. I don't want to sit and endure the pain that is sometimes required with the grace of God. I want to live a life that's wholly pleasing to God, but I don't have the patience to let His grace ravage my inner soul. His grace can cover my outside, my outer shell, the stuff everyone else sees when I'm walking around. But to let God's grace ravage my inner soul--the dark places I don't let anyone see? That's a different story.

The snow will be here for a while longer (another 6 months). I know there will be plenty of days sitting at home next to the heater. There will be plenty of chances to sit and soak in the grace of God in the coming months. May they not be wasted on Facebook or wishing for warmer weather. May God's grace ravage my inner soul that I may be white as snow--inside and out.

White as snow, white as snow
Though my sins were as scarlet
Lord, I know, Lord, I know
That I'm clean and forgiven

Through the power of your blood
Through the wonder of your love
Through faith in You
I know that I can be
White as snow

In small ways

Today was a rough day. Well, the morning was rough. I forced myself to get out of bed an hour and a half after my alarm initially went off. It was that kind of morning.

I asked my best friend to pray for me. It's like she can read my mind from across the Pacific Ocean and international date line. I left the house and went to work with my headphones bumping that Jesus music. Even today, in the sunshine, with worship music in my ears, it all seemed far off and distant.

I got to the office and sat at my desk staring into space for about 15 minutes before I realized I was going to be late for my school. I jumped in the car and sped down the hill, past the fields, over the bridge, down another hill, around the lake, up a hill, around another lake, and screeched into the parking lot with 2 minutes to spare (or so I thought).

I walked into the teachers room expecting to be whisked away to teach in 2 seconds. But instead I found the teacher sitting in a desk chair with a foot massager and the principal asked if I wanted to try it out. So we sat and laughed and talked for 10 minutes before I went to teach my class. I expected to have 3rd and 4th period to sit in the teachers room and study (worst activity ever), but the schedule was changed and we spent those two periods outside playing tee ball and building the skate rink. There's something special about seeing the entire school playing tee ball because it's the last day we could play outside before the rink went up. The principal even pulled his back swinging too hard. After lunch, the baker came and set up shop in his trunk for us. He used to come to my church in town, so he asked me how everyone was doing. The other teachers were surprised to hear us talking so casually and about other people they didn't know. But it was a nice conversation to have...and I got me a cheese bagel!

I drove the hour drive up to my meeting on the far north end of the village. I'm not a fan of this school and I dreaded the meeting, but it turns out I did most of the work last year. Everything he asked me to prepare for, I prepared for his class last year. I stayed late to help one of the students prepare for a speech contest, and the teacher thanked me profusely. I sang worship songs the entire drive back to the office.

I did a little bit of work since it was already 5:30 by the time I got back to the office. They told me to put my chair on top of my desk because they're waxing the floors tomorrow. I put mine up and then they asked me to help move the boss's furniture. Not my direct boss, but the superintendent who has his own office. It felt like some weird prank we were pulling. We put his couches in the entryway and his chairs on top of his bookcase and heater. I'm kind of hoping no one moves it back before he comes in on Monday.

I walked to my boss's house (my direct boss) after I got off work to take over some donuts I picked up from the baker's trunk. His wife has been in the hospital for about 3 weeks, so I went over to just take him a snack and offer some help. His mother-in-law was at the house and I looked after the baby while she made dinner. My boss came home and we ate dinner and played with the baby and watched TV. I played with the baby while he ironed the clothes and she washed the dishes. I gave the baby her bottle and rocked her to sleep. Now I'm home on a Friday night blogging and waiting for my laundry to finish.

This morning my best friend prayed for energy, motivation, strength, and joy. For peace and for me to experience the love of God deeply. In the small ways, God answered her prayer for me. In small ways, I can serve the people in my village. In small ways, I see God everywhere. And on days when it's hard to get myself out of bed, I have to remind myself that He's going before me, He'll hold my hand, and I'll see Him if I take the time and look.

Bright Moon on Dark Nights

It's 9:15 and the sun started setting about 5 hours ago. Part of me wants to say it never really came up, but that would be a lie because though the village was the coldest village in Hokkaido at -7.1C (which means we were probably coldest in Japan) it was a beautiful morning. I walked to work in frigid sunshine with all of the grass and leaves and plants and trees frostbitten. Everything glistened. Beautiful.

And now, it's comfortably at 0 outside. I just got home from my weekly English conversation class. While I've dreaded Thursday night classes, I'm starting to look forward to them. I still don't enjoy having class on Thursday nights (I didn't like them as a student and I don't like them as a teacher). But the classes have become more interesting...even on my end as the teacher.

I used to get very stressed out about the class. Thinking it would suddenly fail or disappear with the lack of students if I failed to teach something amazing every week. But I have no textbook, no syllabus, no curriculum, and no guidelines. Basically, it's a group of adults who just want to speak English. So I tried for 15 months to put some amazing lesson together every week...and got burnt out in the process. I started dreading Thursday nights and the preparation that went into each class. But when I came back from my summer vacation, they suggested we have "free talk" which means I have no prep and we talk about...whatever.

Recently, the topic has been about religion, the unending cycle of religion that seems to get nowhere, the hypocrisy of humans, and the like. I didn't pick these topics...they did. This is what has happened. I show up and they talk...and we get into crazy topics like those. And in the past couple of months, they've asked me what I think, what I believe, and why.

Tonight we talked about the superficiality of Japanese and American cultures and why we felt the need to put up a front and cover up who we really are. I got home from my class and looked up at the sky because it seemed lighter than usual. The moon is unusually bright tonight. I could barely make out any stars because the moon was so bright. On the really cold dark nights, the moon shines the brightest.

That is the moon...and the white dot is a star (not a spot on your screen)--the brightest star because you can't see any of the other ones that are usually out there.

God reminded me in that moment that one day in this dark place, this dark country, His light will shine for all to see. Even though it's cold and it's dark, He will shine and He will come. I cannot simply share my opinion; I must share the Gospel. I am called to be a light on a hill, to shine for Jesus. He is coming back, and we will all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. I don't want to waste my time sharing my opinion. My opinion doesn't matter; the Truth does. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Do you know Him?

Not much of anything

Well, nothing has been happening in the village. October finished and I'm still slowly recovering. Tom's parents came to visit and our group went out and had a nice dinner with them. November has been slow with a long anticipation for cold weather (which hit yesterday) and snow (which hasn't quite hit yet). I finally broke out and wore gloves to work today. However, I still am wearing basketball shorts under my track suit. When it starts snowing, I'll start wearing 2 pairs of long pants, but I'm going to wear my basketball shorts as long as possible.

Last Thursday was "Culture Day," and I spent most of it inside studying. I took a couple hour break and went to the community center for the village music festival. I watched old ladies sing karaoke enka (think opera...karaoke Japanese opera sung by old ladies). And after about 2 hours, that was enough culture for me.

The Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT) is coming up in December and so is the Mid-Year Conference. It's the craziest week of the year making the 6-hour trip to Sapporo twice in 4 days, but after it's all done, I get to go back to LA. I'm frantically studying every day with the test as the goal, but more eagerly looking forward to jumping on that plane for 10 hours and getting hugs and eating burritos.

I'm...exhausted. I don't really have a reason to be, especially this week. Not much is going on, and my class load is relatively light. I only have 10 classes to teach this week (next week I have 14). Now that it's November, basketball ends at 5:30 instead of 6, and those extra 30 minutes are precious. Perhaps it's just that season when my body is adjusting to the lack of sunshine and warm weather. It's just a season. They come and they go, just like the leaves on the trees lining my walk to work.