Countdown: 1 day - W

I am looking forward to WARMER WEATHER, being WEIRD, and WET burritos.

I am thankful for free car WASHES from the rain, WAKING up in His arms every morning, WORKING with amazing people, WORKING with (usually) fantastic kids, WORKING in Japan, and WONDERFUL God and Creator.

I will hopefully be on a plane in about 11 hours from Hokkaido down to Haneda and then from there to 'Merica. But this storm is looking pretty nasty right now. It's warm enough that the snow/slush/rain won't freeze, but it's raining pretty hard and is only supposed to rain harder as the day goes on. Pray for a break in the storm so I can at least get to Haneda.

UPDATE (11:45am):

It has been snowing nonstop for the last 6 hours. We have a good deal of snow and heavy winds (aka blizzard). I'm hoping we'll be able to get out of the village. Right now, I can barely see my neighbors' homes on either side of me. Not so good. But at least I still have power and heat!

Countdown: 2 - V

I am looking forward to VERY long hugs.

I am thankful for VICTORY in Christ everyday.

V words are hard. And I'm tired. I woke up at 5:30 this morning excited that it was my last day of teaching before coming back. Needless to say, I've been a little restless. My bag is packed with...gifts. No clothes in there yet. Hopefully I'll do that tonight/tomorrow.

Unfortunately, a storm is hitting the village tonight. I just went out to get dinner and it's snowing pretty good right now. Hopefully, this blizzard will stop so I can get to the airport and down to Tokyo. But even if it doesn't, I'll still praise God for giving me a chance to rest after 5 months of working.

I'm usually pretty good at getting myself adjusted time-wise for international traveling since I do it so often. However, my flight is at 4pm tomorrow to Tokyo, so that's 11pm. And then I fly out from Tokyo at midnight, so that's 7am. I can't really figure out when I'm supposed to sleep. My flight from here to Tokyo is only about an hour and a half. I would sleep during my layover, but I'm meeting up with my friend from kindergarten during that time. So I think I'm going to go to sleep now, and wake up in the middle of the night, and pack. Hopefully that'll help me get a little readjusted for tomorrow.

Pray for me as I attempt to head back tomorrow and for all my other friends who are trying to get back home for Christmas. Especially those in Europe!

Countdown: 3 days - U

I'm looking forward to UNDERSTANDING what I watch on TV, UNDERSTANDING what I'm buying at the store, and Tacos El UNICO.

I'm thankful for UNDERSTANDING coworkers and students, UNDERSTANDING friends in Japan and the States, and an UNCHANGING God.

1 more day of teaching, 2 more days in Japan, and 3 days until I'm HOME! WOOHOO!

LA, you might not be sunny, but please, just don't freeze over and start snowing.

Hokkaido, please don't rain/snow/slushee when I try to leave. I'll be back, I promise.

Countdown: 4 days - T

I'm looking forward to TIFF (my faithful roommate and Bible study partner and closest sisters), TUNA melts at Homeboy's house, TITO'S TACOS, and my THETA THUGLETS.

I'm thankful for TIFF and the chances we do get to do Bible study via Skype and pray via GChat, TIME to heal and rest and find redemption, TRUE friendships that even oceans and time differences can't break, parents who TRUST God enough to let me come here, and TRIALS that force me to the feet of Jesus.

I've had my fair share of trials. Having the chance to look back and reflect, things have definitely changed in 3 years. It's no longer the end of the world when trial come my way; it's just another chance for God to show up big. I trust God to keep bringing trials into my life to refine me more and more each and every day. And I'm thankful that He sees me fit to go through the fire with Him.

Today when I was driving to my school to teach, the song "Still" by Hillsong kept coming to mind. The chorus says:

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father, You are King over the flood

I will be still and know You are God

It was a nice reminder while my car was getting beat down with rain. That God is so much bigger than my trials. That I can hide in the shadow of His wings. That when I'm tired, He'll renew my strength and I'll rise on the wings of eagles.

Will you choose to praise God in the middle of the storm? Is your God big enough to handle your trial?

My circumstances don't change the character of my God--He is still God and He is still worthy to be worshiped.

Countdown: 5 days - S

I'm looking forward to hugs from SARAH, SLEEPING in a bed without 5 blankets, SHARING quality time with my family and friends, goofing off with my SISTERS, being SILLY and not being judged, SITTING around the dining room table with my family drinking tea and talking for hours, STARBUCKS not being 4.5 hours away, and SINGING worship with other believers.

I'm thankful for STARRY nights when it's cold, a chance to experience SEASONS, SNOW falls that make everything pretty (and treacherous), SUNSETS and SUNRISES, and a year to SIT with my SAVIOR.

Major snow yesterday meant driving to church took longer than usual. My usual 45 km drive takes about 45 minutes. However, this morning it took me an hour and 15 minutes. Luckily I left really early knowing I was going to drive really slow. For my first time driving on snow covered roads, it wasn't too bad. I only slipped once, but luckily I was already in town and turning at a stop light. I did almost hit a deer on the way back home, but, again, luckily I was going slow enough that I could stop in time.

I also had to wipe the snow off my car before I drove to church. Not thinking that all the snow sitting on top of the car would fall off when I opened the door to get my snow scraper-brush-thingy, I naively opened the driver door. Yup, I had a good 6 inches of snow fall onto my drivers seat. Luckily, it was powder, so I just brushed it off before it had a chance to melt. But I brushed it all onto my pants, and then had wet pants because I didn't think to put my snowpants on over my church pants. Needless to say, it was an interesting morning prepping to go to church. However, I was blessed with a winter wonderland as I drove with my shades on and worship music blasting.

Countdown: 6 days - R

I am looking forward to RYAN, REAL face fives and fam fives and hand holds, RAVIOLI, REGULAR pizza, and RELAXATION.

I am thankful for time of RENEWAL, God's continuing REIGN over my life, REAL seasons, and my REDEEMER.

There was a snow storm today and I never got out of my PJs. I spent almost the entire day sitting at my computer. But around 7 pm, I started cleaning my kitchen. 3 hours later, I was relatively satisfied. I'm concerned that when I come back home after 3 weeks, I'll be disappointed to be living in a "dirty" house (especially considering how clean Dad keeps things). So I decided I needed to clean and decorate and make my house feel like home. Wall decorations went up in my room and tomorrow after church, I'll go get some things for the kitchen and maybe a few more things to decorate.

I can't believe I live here

Sunset over 391
Sunset over Lake Shiratoro
Storm coming on 1040
Sunset over 113 at Crane Bridge

It's SNOWY!

I woke up to this...

Guess I won't be going outside today. Although it's a lot warmer than it has been. I don't understand this strange white soft stuff that falls from the sky.

Countdown: 7 days - Q

I am looking forward to not singing QUEEN and...QUESO? It was really the only Q word I could think of that I was looking forward to. Cheese isn't quite the same out here. It's good, just not what I'm used to.

I am thankful for the chance to QUESTION the things in my life and have the time and seclusion to wait for an answer, QUEST after God's heart, and QUERY His desires for my heart.

Man, Q is a hard letter.

On a side note, I sing songs at most of my schools. Not my choice. Most teachers request that I teach the students songs, and some already have songs for me to teach them. If you know me at all, you know that I don't sing. So teaching small children English songs is not my cup of tea. But it's part of my job, right? Well, these aren't your "normal" children songs like "Old McDonald" and "BINGO".

I never knew the words to "We Will Rock You" by Queen, but I taught that to an elementary school per the request of a teacher. I've sung almost every Carpenters song...with ONE junior high boy. The teacher was like "Aren't they popular in America? Don't you know all of their songs?" And to be honest, I didn't know any Carpenters song...and there was a good reason why. But we have successfully finished the Carpenters CD and have moved on to...CELINE DIONE! One junior high boy, one male teacher, and I sing "My Heart Will Go On." Trust me, it doesn't sound pretty. I've also sang "Country Road" more times than I can count. Today we had a Christmas party and the junior high students sang "Last Christmas" which has nothing to do with Christmas aside from the title. At least I know the Beatles songs. Students often ask me if the Beatles and Carpenters are still popular in America; I have absolutely no idea. Classic, yes. Popular, I don't know.

Only 7 days until I'm home, 6 days until I'm on a plane, 3 days of teaching, and 2 days of weekend!

Countdown: 8 days - P

I'm looking forward to PEOPLE who speak English, PRAYING with PLEDGESISTERS on the PORCH of the house, PRAYING with other believers, PRAISING God surrounded by other believers, and POPCORN chicken.

I'm thankful for PEOPLE who speak English, PRAISING God in Japanese, PRAISING God on long car drives through His beauty, PEOPLE who share their dinner leftovers with me, a PURPOSE for being here even and especially when it's cold, PRETTY scenery everywhere everyday, and a POWERFUL God who loves me even though I'm in the middle of nowhere.

I'll be hopping on a plane in a week...and I'll be home in 8 days! WOOHOO! BRING ON THE SUNSHINE AND BURRITOS!

Countdown: 9 days - O

IT SNOWED! Like, it really snowed. And I almost ate it while walking to work this morning. Now I understand the ice grippers and why Mom always told me not to walk with my hands in my pockets.

It was my first time driving on snow covered roads, so needless to say, EVERYONE in the office was concerned. But I made it safely to my school...driving a lovely 50kmh (30mph)the entire way.

I'm looking forward to ORANGE bang, not finding random pieces of OCTOPUS in almost everything I eat, OCEAN breeze, and sunset OVER the OCEAN.

I'm thankful for sunrises OVER the OCEAN, the OPPORTUNITY to live out my dream of living and working in Japan, OPPORTUNITIES to share God's love with people, and God's OMNIPOTENCE, OMNIPRESENCE, and OMNISCIENCE.

Countdown: 10 days - ?

Okay, I have no idea how I calculated the letters for this countdown. Or where it got messed up. Because if I was following the days in December, I'd be on the 14th letter...N. But I did N two days ago. So, I'm just going to wait for the Alphabet to catch up to my countdown.

I'm a little exhausted. Snickerdoodles were FANTASTIC! I baked with the heater on and country music blaring, and it was probably the closest I could make it feel like home. I went to my boss's house last night for dinner at 7. I didn't get home until after 1 a.m. Needless to say, I was a little groggy this morning at work. But while I was walking in torrential rain, one of my coworkers gave me a ride halfway to the office. And my boss gave me a ride home during lunch. Did I mention, his wife gave me leftovers? It's a little lonely sometimes, but I'm blessed to be surrounded by really kind people.

I got to the office Monday and saw a lovely package sitting on my desk. I hadn't really been at my desk since last Wednesday. I have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of this package. My pledgesisters and I have a journal that started with me when I first got to Japan. I sent it from here to Austin, Texas. From Austin, it went to San Antonio and then on to LA. After passing through multiple hands in LA, it was sent from Colorado back to Japan 3 months later. I was like a little kid opening Christmas presents on Christmas morning. I dropped my bag and just sat on the floor and read through the whole journal, just reading what my sisters wrote over the past 3 months. It was such a blessing to read. I am blessed to have sisters who strive to love Jesus more and more every single day and encourage me to do the same.

I also had a lovely yellow envelope with the oh-so-familiar return address label from my aunt. Only to find a card...just because. And some goofy pictures. Just a nice reminder of the family back home. That they remember I'm here. And they care enough to send a card just tell me they miss me and can't wait to see me. I'm blessed to have family who love me and remind me constantly.

Countdown: 12 days - N (and M)

I'm looking forward to NACHO Doritos, NOT sleeping in a sleeping bag in my own house, NONSENSE, staying up late at NIGHT talking, and NOT freezing every time I walk outside.

I'm thankful for NEW friends, NEW family, NEW experiences, NICE NEIGHBORS, NICE coworkers, NICE house and car, and the NEVER-ending love of God.

I'm looking forward to MOM time, MAGICAL potatotes (and everything else amazing MOM cooks), MADNESS, MY kids (yeah, you Thetas made it on the list again), MY epsilons, and the MAG crew.

I'm thankful for no MALL MADNESS during the holidays, MEETING new friends, MY own house, MY own car, and MEETING God every day.

I came back from Sapporo on Friday night. And Saturday I had to drive to town for our office year-end party. Wasn't quite what I thought the "office Christmas party" would be like. First, we started with bowling. Quite comical. I only beat all the women because I'm stronger than all of them. Then we went to some really fancy Japanese restaurant. I love Japanese food, but, boy, fancy Japanese food is a whole different story. I ate chawanmushi (steamed egg custard), which I generally love to eat, but it was shark fin collagen chawanmushi. I ate it, but I was a little hesitant at first. They told me it would be good for my skin. Then we went to some bar/club/lounge place. But after that, I went to the onsen (public bath) at the hotel. It was gorgeous. It was on the 13th floor so you could see the whole town. I went to the bath outside, which was probably a bad idea considering it was barely above freezing last night. But it was an experience. I slept in and went to McDonald's on my way to church this morning. Egg McMuffins and hash browns and coffee are so good.

While I was shopping around this afternoon, my boss emailed me asking if I wanted to come have dinner at his house this week. His wife is a really good cook, so I was totally down. I frantically tried to figure out what I could take to their house. Which is why I've spent the last 2 hours trying to bake 6 cookies at a time in my microwave oven. They don't taste too bad coming from a box mix. Trying to introduce snickerdoodles to the village. We'll see how it goes!

Countdown: 14 days - L (I, J, and K)

I'm looking forward to LOVE, homemade LUNCH, LEFTOVERS after Christmas, LONG hangout sessions that aren't constrained by limited train schedules, LISTENING to Christmas music in stores, LAUGHING with my family and friends, seeing my LITTLES--gunns and ica, and LEAVING the snow and cold for a few weeks.

I'm thankful for LOVE in the form of care packages from the States and LUNCH boxes from my boss's wife, LOVE in the form of dinner LEFTOVERS from the neighbors, LOVE in the form of LATE night chats and sleepovers, LOVE in the form of ridiculously expensive LATTES and LAUGHTER while drinking them, and LOVE in the form of our LORD Jesus Christ who came to LOVE a LOST and LONELY world.

To make up for I, J, and K...

I'm looking forward to eating ICE CREAM in December, celebrating JESUS' birth with my family, my KIDS (yeah, that's you, Thetas), INTENTIONAL conversations and relationships and hangout sessions, INTENSE worship, JUST relaxing, and KICKING it at home with my family and friends.

I'm thankful for ICE CREAM I can eat here without getting sick, celebrating JESUS with my church family here, my KIDS who Skype me to make weird faces, INTENTIONAL conversations and relationships with my Skype Bible study, INTENTIONAL friends who set up Skype dates days in advance, INTENSE worship when it's just me and God, JUST relaxing when I come home from work, and KICKING it at home with my Best Friend, my KING, my JESUS.

Snow, Sapporo, and PICTURES

It snowed on Wednesday morning before I woke up...and it was finally cold enough for it to stick. My first day of snow...but definitely won't be my last!

So I spent far too much time in civilization but it was a nice change from the countryside. It's beautiful in a different way, I suppose.

Walking through the streets of Sapporo at night

Phew...I made it back from Sapporo...again! I jumped on the train at lunch time on Wednesday after teaching two classes. Had a lovely 5.5 hour train ride and then a subway ride from the station to my hotel. A beautiful hotel to say the least. I headed back to the station to do some shopping. Finally, our Skype Bible study got together for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. This wasn't like "good for Japan" Mexican food; it was GOOD Mexican food. Such a huge blessing to finally meet face-to-face after almost three months of talking to each other. Thursday's lunch was with other believers (not in our Skype Bible study). There were about 10 of us which, to be honest, was a lot more than I expected. It was nice though to have people to go out with at night that weren't going to be drinking themselves silly and rather enjoying their time in the city/in civilization and with other brothers and sisters.

Odori Park lit up at night (note that the Sapporo Tower clock says 4:50)

To prove I'm still alive...I even got pictures of me!

I also experienced my first snow fall while we were in Sapporo. Thursday it was like being pelted with rock salt...and it turned out to be tiny hail rather than snow. But today, we had snow fall...real snow fall. I was sitting in the hotel restaurant eating breakfast and it felt like I was looking out into a giant snow globe. It was magical!

Countdown: 16 days - H

I'm looking forward to HOME, watching Lilo & Stitch with HOMEBOY, HOLDING HANDS with my sisters, HANGING out with my family, HAMBURGERS...real hamburgers, HAND HUGS, and real HUGS.

I'm thankful for HAMBURGER recipes found online, the occasional HUG, the chance for HEALING, my HEATER, my HOUSE, and time to spend with my HEALER.

I'm going back to the city today for some all day meetings on Thursday and Friday. I'm bummed I don't get to stay the weekend, but I am looking forward to meeting with my Skype Bible study in person tonight since we'll all be there for the meetings. Things aren't slowing down, but I can't really complain. I have a job, I'm keeping busy, and at least staying inside keeps me warm. Plus, I'll be home in 16 days.

Countdown: 17 days - G (and D & E)

I'm looking forward to GARDENA Valley Baptist Church, GARDENA bowl, GIGGLING with my sisters, GRUBBING with my family, GROUP hugs, GRANDMA'S p-i-e, GOOD times, and GREAT memories.

I'm thankful for GOOD food, GOOD memories doing crazy things, GOOD friends in Japan and back home, GOOD technology even though my netbook died, GOD never going back on His promises, GOD never leaving me, GOD never ceasing to amaze me, GOD always reaching down to me, GOD who is big enough to worship, GOD who is intimate enough to hold my hand in class, GOD who can't love me anymore than He does right now.

I also realized I missed D and E...so to make up for those...

I'm looking forward to DEVIN coming home from EUROPE, being called DEALS again, DEATH DOGS, praying with my EPSILONS, DRINKING sparkling cider with my EPSILONS, DRIVING on the right side of the road (literally), DRINKING coffee at Starbucks, and, did I mention my EPSILONS?

I'm thankful for long DRIVES through gorgeous nature, DARK nights because the stars shine brighter, DELICIOUS food, EVERY sunset, EVERY day I get to live out my dream, EVERY chance I have to share God's love, EXCEPTIONAL friends on both sides of the Pacific, EMAILS and snail mail, and the EVERLASTING love of Christ.

Countdown: 18 days - F

I just got back from Sapporo. I'ts 7:40 on Monday morning. Needless to say, I'm a little tired. Our train came back at 11:37 last night, and I crashed at the boys' place and got up at 5:30 to drive back for work. It was pitch black when I started driving, but since I'm driving east over a bridge over the ocean, I got to see my first sunrise on the ocean. I'm used to seeing sunsets over the ocean since I grew up on the west coast. But to see a sunrise over the ocean, and then over the lakes was quite the treat. Almost made driving back so early this morning worth it.

The JLPT wasn't as bad as I thought. Granted, my brain was kind of dead. I'm lucky it wasn't like the SATs ; this test started at 12:30. We had plenty of time Sunday morning, to hit up coffee shops and get some cramming in. While the trip was pretty brutal (just considering the travel time), it was a good trip. It was a nice hotel that was super cheap, fantastic Indian food, coffee shops, shopping, and my first cup of Starbucks since August. Couldn't help but get a Venti Gingerbread Soy Latte. I never would've got that in the States, but I figured I just exploded my brain on a 4 hour test, so I might as well splurge a little bit. It made me miss sitting at the Starbucks by campus hanging out with people, my friends, my family. But as I sat on the train for the next 4 hours, I realized it wouldn't be long before that would be a reality again.

I'm looking forward to FRIENDS, FAST FOOD, FUN, and FAMILY.

I'm thankful for FRIENDS, FAST FOOD, FUN, and FAMILY. What I have here is a little different than what I have back in the States, but I still have amazing friends who let me crash on their floors. I have Mos Burger and Mister Donuts. I have Joy Cafe, questionable beach bonfires, and adventures wandering around new cities. I have a church family here who might not always understand what I'm trying to say, but they're still down to pray and worship with me.

Countdown: 21 days - C

I'm looking forward to COOKIES, COUCHES, CORN CASSEROLE, COUSINS, CATCHING up, COUNTRY music, and the smell of CHRISTMAS.

I'm thankful for CHRIST my King, CHRIST my Best Friend, CHRIST my Redeemer, CHRIST my Savior, CHRIST my Lover, CHRIST my Healer, but most of all, CHRIST'S sacrifice on the CROSS.

I'm heading out to Sapporo to take the JLPT on Sunday. My brain feels like it's about to explode. I think everyone in the village knows I'm taking this test, so it'll be bad if I don't pass it. However, everyone has been really nice about helping me study. I'll probably have to skip a few days until I get back to the tiny village Monday morning. That's assuming my brain doesn't explode conjugating verbs in the next 24 hours.

Countdown: 22 days - B

I'm looking forward to BOB/BUTCH (aka Dad), BURRITOS, BARBEQUE, BEAR hugs, BAKING, BITING, BROWNIES, BACON-wrapped hotdogs, BEEF, BASKETBALL, BOY...as in my brother, BROTHERS, and my lil BRO.

I'm thankful for BOUILLON cubes being just as easy to use in Japanese as they are in English, BREAKFAST BARS when I'm starving at 3:00, BEARS not attacking me, BASKETBALL team who tries really hard to understand my English...and my Japanese, BEAUTIFUL sunsets and scenery, BRAVE coworkers who throw dragonflies out the window, BIBLE time via Skype with a wonderful roommate who is willing to wake up early so we can fellowship in the Word, BIBLE study via Skype with brothers and sisters across the island, and most of all a chance to get reacquainted with my BEST FRIEND.

Countdown: 23 days - A

I shouldn't be starting a countdown, but really, I'd just be lying to say I'm not excited to come home. But, this will be a rather different countdown than just 23 days of what I'm looking forward to coming home to. We're doing this ABC-style. So...

I'm looking forward to ALICE, APPLES-TO-APPLES, APPLE pie, ABC on TV, APPLE cider with my Epsilons, and ABSOLUTELY AWESOME weather.

I'm thankful for ALL my friends and family back home, ALL my new friends here, ALWAYS having reasons to praise God, ALWAYS having reasons to worship God, AMAZING scenery, ADVENTURES during school hours, and ACCESS to a basketball team and gym.

Today during 5th period, I went on an adventure with the two office helpers and the vice principal. But on our high rubber boots and went for a tromp through the "school forest" to the "school bog." There was definitely snow on the ground and covering the three logs laid out across the bog as a makeshift bridge. Yet another adventurous day of teaching English!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Dinner celebrated on Friday night after work. Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing with Gravy, awesome powdered mashed potatoes, and canned corn. Wasn't quite the fried turkey and homemade stuffing I'm used to on Thanksgiving, but I'm thankful I at least could sort of celebrate.

But Thanksgiving Day is a lot more than eating turkey and watching football. It's a time to spend with family. It's a time to be thankful for what you have. While I didn't have my family here in the middle of nowhere, I had a box sent with love to remind me to be thankful for them. I'm thankful that I get care packages from home with Pumpkin Pie Cliff Bars. I'm thankful that I got to Skype with my cousins after they finished eating dinner. I'm thankful for my family back home who is so eager to see me in less than a month.

But I'm thankful to be here too. I'm thankful to live in the most beautiful village in the world filled with the kindest people. I'm thankful for a chance to live out my dream--to work in Japan. I'm thankful for new friends and new adventures. I'm thankful for a year of meeting God every single day. I'm thankful for the peace and quiet after living in South Central for 4 years. I'm thankful for a chance to really appreciate everything and everyone I left to come here. I'm thankful for opportunities to share my faith and to share my God with everyone around me. I'm thankful for the chance to take a leap of faith, to follow God to the middle of nowhere, and to be met by a faithful Father. I'm thankful to be here with Him.

I'm blessed beyond measure. I don't deserve what I have at home. I don't deserve what I have here.

"All of my life in every season, You are still God and I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." -- Desert Song by Hillsong

Caesar Salad

Tonight I made a Caesar salad for dinner. I haven't eaten a salad in four months. FOUR MONTHS. I have been craving salad. I've never craved salad before. I lived with a vegetarian for two years and ate salad almost every night growing up at home. But tonight, I craved salad. I've never wanted a Salad Farm before. Never been to Salad Farm? Me neither. But I wanted to go so badly. And after tonight, I will wait to come home for salad. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. Craving is gone.

Yes...BUT

It's been four months since I've started my new life in Japan. It's also the longest I've ever had a full-time job. I had full-time internships, but they were only for the summer before becoming part-time during the school year. But I have a nice 8+ hour work day everyday. Most days it doesn't seem like a real job. Probably because I thought I'd be spending the next forty years in a suit in a cubicle. But no, I'm wearing a track suit and Timberlands and hanging out with small kids everyday.

I always told people my dream job was a job where I could wear Timberlands and sweats to work. I have my dream job. It may not be in the choicest location, but I'm not complaining about driving through a national park almost everyday.

I asked God to come to Japan. I never asked God to come to the middle of nowhere. I think He answered, "Yes...BUT we're going to the middle of nowhere, and it's going to be cold, and it's going to be isolating, and I'm going to meet You like You've never met me before." I never asked God to wow me with His sunsets or frosted fields. I never asked God to whisper His promises to me in the wind. I never asked God to send a small kid to be my friend at the festival so I wouldn't feel alone. I never asked God to be my Best Friend. But He has. He is. Sometimes, I wish He had just said, "Yes" but looking back, I'm thankful for His "Yes, BUT" because He knew far better than I did.

Don't put God in a box.

This Is How We Overcome

Every song we sang at church today I could sing in English. I walked in and they were singing "Amazing Grace". I'm pretty sure the lady next to me was confused when I was singing in English, but, man, it was sure nice. We sang "Power of Your Love" and it brought me back to the days at PVBC with Auntie Clarice and Uncle Gary singing. I miss that. But then we sang this song, and we've sung it a lot, but this lady came up to me afterwards and asked me if I knew the English lyrics. She told me to look them up when I got home. How appropriate they were after a long week and many nights of crying lonely tears.

Your light broke through my night 
Restored exceeding joy 
Your grace fell like the rain 
And made this desert live  

Chorus: 
You have turned my mourning into dancing 
You have turned my sorrow into joy  

Your hand lifted me up 
I stand on higher ground 
Your praise rose in my heart 
And made this valley sing 
(Chorus)  

This is how we overcome 
This is how we overcome 
(Chorus)

"This is How We Overcome" - Hillsong United

Thanksgiving

I've realized in the spirit of Thanksgiving that I have a lot to be thankful for. And most of them aren't big things, but I think that's what makes God's small touches in life even more intimate.

• It was warm enough to walk home for lunch without a jacket.
• I came back to my desk and there was a chocolate bar with a smiley post-it note.
• Another care package from home.
• Being thanked by a teacher.
• A cup of coffee with a little piece of chocolate on the saucer.
• Text messages in the middle of the night reminding me someone on the other side of the Pacific is thinking of me.
• No basketball practice and no Bible study on Wednesday so I could write.
• An email from an old professor just asking how life is going.
  
• A student gave me flowers she made out of paper.
• My boss called to get the gas for my heater refilled, so I wouldn't freeze.
• My coworkers try really hard to learn English, which usually ends up with the entire office laughing.
• My co-teachers are all set on helping me pass my test next month.
• The lady at 7-11 remembered to talk to me slowly.
• The lady at the grocery store asked if I was doing okay because it's getting cold.
• Someone offered me a ride to the airport to go home for Christmas.
• Seeing Grandma for the first time since June.
• It's warm enough to sleep in my bed still.

It's been a rough week. Maybe it's just that time of year when it gets colder and darker. It's not quite pretty anymore. The bright red leaves have fallen off and left all the trees naked. It's like this weird in between period before the snow falls. A transition period. I'm eagerly awaiting the day I get to come home, come back to LA, to the smog, the noise, the traffic, but most of all, the people. I am trying really hard not to count down the days until I can come home. I've never really enjoyed the holiday season much, but it's strange not to have the house decorated. I mean, even my apartment was decorated during the holidays. But I'm thankful that I do get to go home. I'm thankful that my job and my boss are flexible and gracious. But I'm thankful to be here too. I'm thankful for the chance to finally live and work in Japan. I'm thankful for the time I get to have alone with my Best Friend. I'm thankful for the opportunity to finally sit down and write. I'm thankful for the small blessings because they remind me that God who is so big still knows I'm here, alone, in the middle of nowhere. They remind me that God who runs the universe still cares enough to put chocolate bars with smiley post-it notes on my desk. They remind me that God who holds the stars also holds my hand everyday when I walk to work and walk back home. I'm thankful for a God who is big enough for me to worship and still intimate enough to know my name.

Wheezy Kid at Church Camp

I realized I haven't been writing much here. Nothing has really been going on. I got sick. My netbook crashed. I opened my Costco bag of Pretzel M&Ms. I bought a humidifier.

So my boss told me to buy a humidifier. I honestly grew up thinking that humidifiers were for those wheezy kids at church camp (sorry if you have one and I just called you a wheezy church camp kid). I was quite hesitant to buy one. I didn't want to be one of those wheezy kids at church camp. But I bought one after I realized there was no one around to judge me and call me a wheezy kid. It's amazing. It makes breathing so much more pleasant. I didn't know it was possible. It's great. I'll take being called a wheezy kid at church camp any day for my humidifier!

My Skype Bible study finished Colossians, Philemon, and now we're on to Hebrews. It's the "if you thought you knew what faith was you're about to be kicked in the face with truth" book. But the thing that has kept coming up week after week is the idea of being thankful. Always be thankful. And it sounds stupid really. I mean, I always heard to be thankful growing up in church. And it's easy to be thankful at...Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or your birthday (if you get cool presents). But it's a lot harder to be thankful when things go wrong. Like your netbook crashing. Or catching a cold and semi-losing your voice before teaching forty1st graders. Or being 17 hours apart instead of just 16 hours. Uncontrollable circumstances. But I've been reading this book called "In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson (amazing book if you haven't read it). In the second chapter of his book, he says, "How you think about God will determine who you become...And that internal picture of God determines how you see everything else...Our biggest problems can be traced back to an inadequate understanding of who God is. Our problems seem really big because our God seems really small. In fact, we reduce God to the size of our biggest problem. (28)" But I believe my God is bigger than a dead netbook. I believe my God is bigger than a cold...and forty 1st graders. I believe my God is bigger than an hour. I believe my God is so much bigger...and for that I can praise God. I can thank God because He is bigger. So even when it's freezing and I'm sick and my head feels like it's in a fishbowl, I can smile walking to work because I serve and worship a great God who can't love me anymore than He does right now. When I start getting frustrated or upset that things aren't going great, I thank Him for the things that are going right. I thank Him for the blessing to have things going wrong (I mean, not everyone has a new netbook or an amazing job or...time).

"God is great not just because nothing is too big for Him. God is great but because nothing is too small for Him either." -- "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" Mark Batterson

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Nothing interesting really

Nothing exciting happened this week. It was National Culture Day on Wednesday so I had a nice day of sitting at home with the heater on and studying Japanese.

National Culture Day doesn't really make sense to me. Back in the US, everyone is from a different background with different culture. It would make sense to set aside a day for everyone to celebrate their culture. But here in Japan, everyone is the same (more or less). So having a day to celebrate culture doesn't make any sense. I found out from my adult night class that they don't really do anything special. However, there was karaoke and dancing at the community center. I don't know how karaoke and dancing count as Japanese culture--I was really expecting more like flower arranging, tea ceremony, calligraphy, etc. Although I suppose karaoke is a large part of modern Japanese culture.

On a lame note, I'm sick. I got a sore throat and a cough. I went to the drug store and attempted to buy medicine. I looked online for some help before I went. The best recommendation was to look for a picture of a head with stars at the forehead, nose, and throat. So that's what I got. Questionable. Hopefully it works. Teaching English with a sore throat is quite awful.

Okay going to make some tea for this throat. I went and bought some lemons and honey since they don't sell anything but green tea in my village. Oh well. It'll have to do. Praise the Lord it's the weekend!

Hear Us From Heaven

I couldn't help but sing this song as I was driving home from dinner tonight. I went to visit a friend in a neighboring village. She had invited me over for dinner at her house. I didn't really want to go to be honest. I was in the zone and super focused on studying Japanese. But I said I would go. So I went. I didn't really want to go. I asked a sister to pray for me before I left. I just listened to worship music as I drove. We were eating dinner and talking, mostly about work, but then things shifted. We started talking about God and Jesus and Christianity. I was not prepared for that. And as we were talking and she was asking questions, "Hear Us From Heaven" came to mind. Especially, "Breathe life into these dry and thirsty souls". I could tell she had so many questions and just unknowns. But my inadequate Japanese proved to be a barrier, so I told her next time I would bring my Japanese Bible and she was quite excited.

Keep praying for Japan! Keep praying for my people! Lord, hear us from heaven! Come heal this land! Breathe life into these dry and thirsty souls! Open the blind eyes! Unlock the deaf ears! Touch this generation!

Lord, hear our cry

Come heal our land

Breath life into these dry and thirsty souls

Lord, hear our prayer

Forgive our sin

And as we call on your name

Would you make this a place

For your glory to dwell

Chorus:

Open the blind eyes

Unlock the deaf ears

Come to your people

As we draw near

Hear us from heaven

Touch our generation

We are your people

Crying out in desperation

Bridge:

Hear us from heaven,

Hear us from heaven,

Hear us from heaven (4x)

"Hear Us From Heaven" -- Jared Anderson

Kabocha Pumpkin Pie

I love pumpkin pie. I once got paid with pumpkin pie for tutoring. I love it that much.

Today, we made "pumpkin" pie at school. It was pumpkin pie made out of...kabocha. It's this green Japanese pumpkin. I thought it couldn't be that bad. It looked the same when the students were pouring the batter into the pie dish. We watched it bake in the oven. We pulled it out and it smelled good...but it didn't smell like pumpkin pie. It didn't really look like pumpkin pie either. And it definitely didn't taste like pumpkin pie. Don't get me wrong--it tasted really good. It just didn't taste like pumpkin pie.

But the students were so excited about it. They said it tasted amazing. They happily sat at the table and ate their "pumpkin" pie with big grins on their faces.

I think some people (myself included) have settled for kabocha pumpkin pies of life, not the real-deal-nutmeg-cinnamon-melt-in-your-mouth pumpkin pie. But we don't know any better. We happily take our kabocha pumpkin pies of life and tell everyone that it tastes amazing. And we're excited. But to someone who has had REAL pumpkin pie knows that those kabocha pumpkin pie people are missing out on something amazing. That they don't really know what pumpkin pie is. They don't know what pumpkin pie really tastes like. They don't know how AMAZING pumpkin pie can be. Because once you've had a taste of the real-deal-nutmeg-cinnamon-melt-in-your-mouth pumpkin pie, why would you ever eat a kabocha pumpkin pie?

The real-deal-nutmeg-cinnamon-melt-in-your-mouth pumpkin pie is the life that God has always wanted you to live. The real deal. Once you've experienced it, you can't go back to the kabocha pumpkin pies of the world. It's a mind-boggling, life-changing experience when you meet God. It's like eating kabocha pumpkin pies and then finally eating one of Grandma's homemade pumpkin pies with a little dollop of whipped cream on top. That's a total underestimate of how great God is, but you get the point. You can't go back. If you've really tasted and savored and enjoyed the real pumpkin pie, why would you go back? Why? When Jesus Christ has changed your life and you've tasted the goodness of God's grace, why would you go back to the life you lived?

"Taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" Psalm 34:8

Raining Slushees

It wasn't quite rain. It wasn't quite hail/snow. I pulled back the curtain to see slushee being spat on my house from the night sky. It was quite interesting. I would've sat there longer, but it was quite chilly.

It is definitely getting cold. I bought a neck warmer this weekend, and it was definitely worth all 650yen that I paid for it. It was warmer in the grocery store than it was in my car last night.

I've heard that it was the hottest summer and the earliest winter this year. Last year, it didn't snow til late December (according to a friend). So it's unusual. But it's cold. However, I just got my sub-zero sleeping bag yesterday! Praise the Lord!

It snowed in Sapporo yesterday. It wasn't cold enough here to snow, just slushee. But it looks like maybe Thursday? I'll definitely be posting pictures when that happens!

3 Months

Today marks 3 months since I left good ol' smoggy LA for Siberia. I can't really believe it's been that long since I've had Mexican food, hung out at a park with friends, had a spontaneous adventure, built a beach bonfire, and then had a slightly sketchy adventure. Well, we fixed that tonight.

I drove down to the guys' place. We had planned this a week ago. We were going to celebrate having a free weekend to relax, enjoy Mexican food, and celebrate surviving 3 months in Japan. We had some epic taco-burritos. They weren't quite tacos...and they weren't quite burritos. But they tasted fantastic. Had I eaten the same burrito in South Central it'd probably be the worst Mexican food I've ever eaten. But, boy, did it taste amazing after 3 months! We ate and were dying on the floor for a while. We headed to the school next door and decided to play ultimate frisbee. It was fun and it got pretty competitive. Until we almost saw our taco-burritos for a second time. So we went back and ate more food and just talked for a while. We decided we needed another adventure. I wanted to go to the beach earlier in the day because it was beautiful outside, but we ended up going to the beach at night. We built a bonfire. No idea if that's legal or not, but we did it and it was pretty cool. We just walked along the beach looking for wood and then just sat in silence and watched it. The almost-full moon was out and shining on the ocean and I could just imagine LA on the other side of the horizon. We went to eat ramen and then got invited to someone's house...so we went. Shady but there were 4 of us and we all made it back alive. It was an adventurous day, and a lovely way to celebrate my 3 months. Otherwise, I probably would've sulked at home that I wasn't at Pismo with my sorority sisters and just did nothing all day.

I was trying to think of something I've learned in the last 3 months. I've learned plenty, but it's hard to put it into words. When I first got here, I began to understand God as my Comforter. Slowly, He became my Best Friend. In recent days, He has become my Provider. Being alone with God has allowed me to see and seek parts of His character I don't think I've ever earnestly desired. I've always wanted to know God the giver of good gifts and blessings. I've always wanted to know God the magic eight ball. But I'm getting to know Him as my Redeemer--from my past, my present and my future. I'm getting to know Him as my Lover--from sunsets to autumn season to pretty clouds. I'm getting to know Him as my Jesus--a personal Jesus.

3 months before I came to Japan, I was anxious about my placement, what schools I'd be teaching at, how big my town would be, what work would be like, etc. 3 months after getting here, I realize that God took care of everything. He provided me with super caring coworkers who take care of me. He provided a church so I could still be physically connected to the body of Christ. He provided a Skype Bible study so I could continue to fellowship with other believers. He provided internet connection so I could still be back at home. But most of all, He provided me with Himself. The longer I've been here the more I realize how much I need Jesus every single day. And I am thankful that I can need Him. I am thankful that He meets me everyday where I'm at. And sometimes that's not a very good place, but still He meets me there. I can trust my Jesus to never leave, to always provide, and to constantly love.

I need You, Jesus

Come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow you

"Rescue" - Newsong

We're in the books!

My tiny village made it on the map!

Yesterday, my tiny village had the LOWEST temperature in all of Japan! We were at -5C when I woke up. I knew it was cold. But I didn't expect it to be that cold. I opened my front door to find my bike seat covered in ice. The windshield of my work car was covered in ice. I didn't really know what to do. I sat in my icebox car and attempted to heat my engine and defrost my window. It was too cold to even hold the steering wheel. I have to drive with my gloves on!

But it warmed up and proved to be a gorgeous day! I took this while driving...probably a bad idea, but I just couldn't pass up the open road and awesome clouds!

I took this one on my drive back to the office from a school. The sun starts setting around 4:30, so it's right when I'm heading back to the office. Which means I can catch some pretty fantastic looking sunsets!

I made my first purchase from Amazon Japan. I bought myself a sub-zero sleeping bag! I have my heater on before I go to sleep and then it's set to turn on at 5:30, so it's bearable when I actually need to get out of bed at 6. I've been going to sleep around 9 but waking up at 4 because it's so cold in my room. So hopefully, it'll help me sleep better...and longer. Can't wait til that gets here!

Freezing deer school festival coffee shop toothpaste

1) It is cold. I checked the weather for tonight/tomorrow morning when I wake up. 3. 3 degrees. It is OCTOBER! Whatever. I'll get used to it...or start sleeping next to the heater.

2) They always tell me to watch out for deer when I'm driving. Friday night, I saw a bunch of deer while riding the bus. I finally figured out what they were talking about. And then last night, it was super foggy driving back from town and I ALMOST HIT A DEER! Someone already hit it, but it was like just over the crest of a hill. So I came over the hill and swerved to miss it. I don't think my car would've taken that very well. It was a close call. I am now super paranoid about driving at night.

3) I sang at a school festival today (yay for waking up at 5:30 to watch the game and then go straight to work). And I have another one on Saturday. On Saturday I'm in the drama, playing the piano, and attempting the conga. It's going to be interesting. I don't even know how to describe these school festivals. I'd say they're like Homecoming...but they're really not. Uniquely Japanese...let's just put it that way.

4) Last night I went to town and hung out at a coffee shop with another female JET. It was so nice just to hang out with someone...especially another female! We just drank fancy coffee and laughed and talked about work and the adorable small children that kept running around. It was nice to just have...a physical human being in front of me. And she hugged me. It was just what I needed after a crazy week.

5) I found Aquafresh. It'll do the job. I'm running out of toothpaste and everyone says I packed 2 tubes, but I can't find the other one. I probably traded it for like Cheetos or something on the airplane. But I found Aquafresh in town, so that'll keep my teeth from decaying...hopefully.

I am exhausted. It's time to recuperate before another crazy week!

Lord Jesus, You are so good. Even when I can't go to church, You bless me with majestic scenery and perfect weather to sit outside and just do some Bible study in my car before having to face another day of work. You protect me from crazy deer and have made this week absolutely amazing despite everything that's going on. You are so good. Thank You for so many undeserved blessings...and giving me exactly what I need even when I don't think I need it. Thank You for always loving me more than I can even imagine.

Incomplete Thought

So I finally went back and reread my last post. It was an incomplete thought. I also wrote it over the span of 3 hours and took a bike ride in the middle of writing...that could explain things.

I am in a different season of life (duh). I'm done getting edumacated (for now) and I finally have a salaried job...a job that's totally different than what I studied. That's a big change in and of itself. Now put me in another country. It would've been okay had I lived somewhere like LA...or even just a city...or a suburb...or with people. But alas, I am in a foreign country in the middle of nowhere. That's a BIG change. And I wish this foreign country was like England where they just speak funny English. But I'm teaching English because no one speaks English. That's a HUGE change. I went from LA summer to Hokkaido winter via a 10-hour plane ride and 5+ hour train ride.

The change of seasons is exciting. I know that deep down this is where my heart has longed to be. My heart's desire was to be in Japan. I don't know about middle-of-nowhere, freezing-your-pants-off Japan, but I am in Japan and that alone has made my heart giddy. I get to explore the idea of a career change and get me feet wet in the teaching field--that is exciting.

But I am also glad that this is only a season. That this will eventually end and another season will come. I am thankful that the time alone is only for a season. I thank God for the season I was blessed with during college when I was physically surrounded by Christian fellowship. I thank God now for this season I have to enjoy Him and to learn how to trust and rely on Him for everything.

Being alone has made me crave fellowship. I crave Christian fellowship more than an enchilada-style sweet pork barbacoa burrito from Cafe Rio. I crave it. My soul longs to be in fellowship with other believers. I have a church here but the language barrier makes deep fellowship difficult. I have Skype dates but the time difference makes connecting somewhat difficult. I cried to God. I cried in frustration and just feeling alone and isolated. I cried and He heard me. I have a Skype Bible Study every Wednesday night with other Christians on my island. While we can't see each other and may never meet face-to-face, we have a weekly meeting to just get into the Word of God with each other and to fellowship together. This is a new season of fellowship.

My God doesn't go back on His promises. He promised to provide...and He did. He provided me with internet connection. He provided me with a computer. He provided me with Christians on this crazy gigantic island who desire to know Him more and more. He provided me with people back home who are dedicated to waking up early and setting aside time to check in. He provided more than I asked. He provided exactly what my heart needed.

In this season I will give thanks to my God, my Provider, for never leaving, never changing, and always loving.

You are good and Your love endures forever.

Seasons

So when I was thinking about writing this blog post, the first song that came to mind was "Days of Love" by Wes Terasaki. All you growing up at PVBC Family Retreats know the song. I'm not sure why that song came to mind because it doesn't even have the word "season" in it. Regardless, it was stuck in my head as I was driving/biking/walking around taking pictures.

I don't think I ever really understood the concept of seasons. Growing up in SoCal, we don't really have seasons other than basketball season and baseball season and football season. Palm trees don't really change color and there's always enough sunshine to go to the beach in December. Fruit and veggies are almost always of abundance and bananas are always readily available at Ralph's.

I knew about different "seasons" of life...but I don't think I understood what that meant. Seasons never really seemed much different. My Junior High became my High School. I went to College with my brother and my mom worked down the street and so did my dad. Home was never too far. While the transition from high school to college was a big change, it was like LA fall to LA winter. It gets darker earlier and it drops maybe 10 degrees, but that's really about it. Sometimes I didn't even notice the seasons changing in LA, and I think I went through much of my time at SC not knowing things were changing. Hindsight is always 20/20, and looking back, I can tell that, yeah, lots of things changed, and I went through a lot of different "LA seasons".

But I'm beginning to understand seasons a little bit better. Seasons look different, they feel different, and everything around you changes. I wear my thermals and long johns everyday. I started to turn my heater on when I wake up. I basically live in one room in my house because that's where the heater is. I have to wear gloves to ride my bike to work. It feels different. It's colder. The trees are changing colors. I was told that only the "trees with hands will become red like fire," which I found lining the street on my way to work. Soon that whole street will (hopefully) become "red like fire" and I'll take another picture.

King Solomon wrote about seasons in Ecclesiastes 3. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." And I think now I'm beginning to realize that seasons don't last forever. Unlike LA where we have the never-ending-season-of-awesome-weather-and-sunshine-forever, I know it'll get cold and snow will come and then it'll become spring and the snow will melt and flowers will bloom again. And that in life, it will get cold and snow will come and there will be days when I wonder if the snow will ever melt and if the flowers will ever bloom again.

Sometimes we know that seasons will change, and sometimes they just happen. I know winter will come and snow will fall, and I'm excited to see snow fall. While it's scary to think about how cold it can get here, I'm excited to experience something new, something different. My sentiments about winter are the same when I prayed about coming here. It's scary to be an ocean away from almost everyone I love. It's scary to be alone in a foreign country. But it's exciting to be here. It's exciting to be with God and experience Him. To be able to meet God in a new way is priceless. And it's only for a season. Trees will change colors and snow will fall. Snow will melt and flowers will bloom.

May the Lord go with you as you go away from here

May the light of Jesus light your way

May His Word surround you in an unfamiliar land

Filling your days with love

May His Spirit touch your heart and carry you along

Going where our prayers have gone before

Not a worry, not a car, for trust is day by day

These are the days of love

Yesterday's passing away

But these are the days of the Lord

And the grace of Jesus that has brought you safe this far

Shall again go with you on your way

On other days just like today, but different better by far

Yes, these are the days of love

Emo

Let's be honest, there are more palm trees where I live in LA than trees that actually change colors when the temperature drops in October. I've never seen a tree look like this before. I was driving home from church today and I just smiled and laughed. It was so beautiful and taking a picture wouldn't do that kind of beauty any justice. It was like looking into a giant barrel of Fuji apples...and then going slightly cross-eyed until the colors all blend together. That's what things look like right now...and it's absolutely amazing.

So I was being a bit emo this week. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it was just an exhausting week. But back in LA when I got emo, I would go to the cliffs and/or write poetry. That was how I learned to healthily handle emoness. But I have no cliffs here and I hadn't written poetry in six weeks. But there was one place I have found to be a quiet refuge. So I jumped in the car with my Bible and journal and poetry journal and set out for my quiet refuge in hope of finding the sunset and Jesus.

I got here. It was cloudy...and frigid. And there were other people. Needless to say, I was a tad disappointed. As I climbed up the hill, the people slowly started to leave. By the time I got to the top, I was alone. But there was no sunset. It was hidden behind the clouds and the volcano. And I stood there and almost cried. All I wanted was a sunset. I opened my poetry journal and, for the first time since I came to Japan, wrote a poem that I could feel. I stood there and waited for the sunset that never came. I opened my Bible and starting reading out loud (since I was alone).

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?...You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?...In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life. Psalm 56:3-4, 8, 10-13

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me...My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth! Psalm 57:1-2, 7-11

Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it: "I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them." Isaiah 42:5-9

Needless to say I climbed down the hill a little more humble and much more comforted than when I had climbed up the hill. I will continue to cling the promises of my God because He never changes. He never goes back on His promises. He can't love me any more than He does right now.