While it was an awesome weekend of boarding, I was extremely homesick. While I was with friends, I felt alone. Sunday morning I was up at 6:30 and texting my best friend back home. When we lived together in college, I would lie in bed and text her even though we were in the same apartment. She would eventually come to my room and we would talk until I was able to fall asleep. The hallway is now an ocean. While I'm waking up, she's going to sleep. It made me realize that, yeah, I am in a different place. I think for a long time, I've been in denial. I've tried to convince myself that everything would stay the same, that nothing would change. But I'm slowly realizing that it is, that things are.
Last night I couldn't sleep. It was way after midnight and I knew I had a long day of work ahead. But everything hurt. I fell on my knees next to my bed and cried. I cried long and hard because I wanted something other than Jesus. My heart broke into a thousand pieces. I worshiped Him on my knees in the middle of nowhere Japan in the middle of the night because He is God and He loves me.
And tonight, He walked me home and showed me just how much He cared.
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