Dear Alfred

I knew I had a few very important things to do this week while I'm back home:
1) Watch my cousin get married
2) Spend time with my dad
3) Visit your parents

Saturday, I watched my cousin marry a beautiful woman, and we welcomed her into our family.  It was the first time my cousins were all together in over 15 years.  We even got Grandma out on the dance floor.  It was nice to see everyone together in one place.  Family will always be family.

Today, I took Dad down to Terranea for lunch.  We sat near the cliffs and shared a burger.  It was the perfect day.  Blue skies, no wind, lots of sunshine, and a clear view of the lighthouse.  I'm thankful that we got to share another lunch together.  It hasn't been an easy 3 weeks, but I'm thankful for that one more lunch today.  I know my time with him is short, especially since I'm only home 1 week this time.  But I'm glad we had lunch today, and some short hangouts and dinners interspersed.

Tonight, I went to see your parents.  I sat in the garage for a while, not sure of what I was going to say when I saw them.  I haven't seen your parents since our high school graduation.  It took a lot of deep breathing to get me to your house.  I still remember the shortcut you showed me years ago.  I listened to your mom play the piano for a long time before I rang the doorbell.  I didn't want to disrupt her.  She was wearing your varsity hoodie: #9.  She took me to your room, and it looked the same as it did back in high school.   You looked good; you always have.  She cried, and I hugged her and cried too.  She showed me stuff from your apartment, including your nerdy calculator.  We shared a couple quiet smiles.  We sat on the edge of your bed and talked--just like you and I used to back in high school when we'd study bio and pre-calc together.  Everything looked the same, and I forgot how much I love your parents.  We sat and talked for almost an hour, and I even got them to crack smiles.

I saw the program sitting on my desk when I came home Thursday night.  I looked through the pictures.  I pulled out my yearbooks and saw all the goofy things you wrote freshman year and the short sentimental note you wrote senior year.  I'm thankful for the memories I have with you--slow dancing in your kitchen, eating pancakes at IHOP, watching stars on your roof, catching sunsets at the cliffs, sitting on your bed making faces at each other for hours, walking together after school or practice, drawing walruses in each other's bio notebooks, serenading me with boy band songs, and all the other memories only you and I will share.  Thank you, thank you for those memories, those good times, those smiles.

I still miss you.  So do your parents and lots of your other friends.  I still can't believe you're gone.  Even though my heart hurts, I have a peace I don't understand.  God is still good.  He is still faithful.  He is still sovereign and omnipotent and omniscient.  He is still who He says He is.  I know where you are, and I know where I'm going.  And while my heart still aches, I know one day I'll see you again.