Sunday morning thoughts

So it's Sunday morning and I should be getting ready for church. But instead, I've been sitting in front of my heater for the last 2 hours thinking. Mostly mindless thoughts, but thinking nonetheless.

This song, "Jesus, I Lift My Eyes" by the Pat Little Band has been resonating in my head since I woke up. It's what prompted me to sit in front of the heater for the last couple hours.

Hear, O Lord, my righteous plea

Listen to my cry, give ear to my prayer

For it comes desperately

In desperate need I come to You

You're my rock and my strength

Jesus, I lift my eyes to the heavens

Where does my help come from

You, O my Lord

My heart has a thousand words to say

Please, Lord, turn burdens into praise

And in righteousness, I will see Your face

And when I awake, I will be satisfied

Satisfied in You alone and all You are for me

I'm in a weird a limbo position right now. I knew going to LA and upon coming back that I'd be here. I have to decide if I'm recontracting for another year. And there's a deadline for my decision.

I don't really know where God is leading me. It is a little terrifying to not know what's coming next. Throughout high school and college, I would always say, "One day at a time," but at some point I have to make a decision. I need to have a direction.

I thought of my dear sister T.Hanley who is on the World Race--an 11 months, 11 countries missions trip. We've had our fair share of "Jesus talks" throughout our friendship. I feel like now, she would tell me to stop looking around and start looking at Jesus. Because while she's bedridden and recovering from nasty jellyfish stings in the DR and trying to avoid cholera-infected water, I know that's exactly what she's doing.

God will provide. I have seen the ways that He has provided for me the last 6 months. I can rest assured that my God does not go back on His promises. God will provide. His provisions may not be what I am expecting or what I want, but they are what bring Him the most glory. Should I desire anything less than the glory of God to shine in this place, to open their eyes and ears to the Good News...may it never be. Lord, direct steps each and every day. Take my heart and make it Yours. You are good and You never change. God will provide.